Birds and the Bumblebees
by SilverRibbon
Summary: It's only natural to be curious about your new giant robotic alien friends right? Sam gets the Transformer version of 'the talk'. And on the way he'll find out more than he wanted to know as well!


--( Because I wanted to do a tactful, more believable Sam/Bee story after reading enough general transformers slash fics that had me climbing the walls screaming...no...just..NO! Mutters...transformers don't have 'GLOSSIA' for Primus's sake! Besides, it's a nice brake from my other stories and keeps me from burning out. :p ) --

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**Sex.**

Just like any regular, healthy teenage male, Samuel often found his mind (and certain parts of his anatomy) fixated on the traitorous subject. Traitorous because nothing ever works out the way one expects it to once physical intimacy enters the picture. Things tended to take odd directions, sudden shocking twists reeeeeealy fast when that ever so delicate subject came around. The situation from that point forward will almost always go phenomenally well, or horrifically dismal. Just like things had gone with Mikaela, they had been going phenomenally well. After all how often did a geek like himself, a no-one….get the hot chick, the cheerleader, the popular girl?

Never. That's how often. But he had. Somehow….

And that fact had been almost as unbelievable as the rest of the experience that had fallen into his lap. Almost, but not quite. After finding out that you were far from the only sentient race in the universe, and that large sentient robotic life-forms were about to wage war on your planet, not to mention your new car was one of those large robotic life-forms, topped getting the hot chick from school as your girlfriend.

Every thing had been going great for a while, but than things had taken one of those unforeseen, aforementioned turns the night when it looked like things might go to the 'next level' with their relationship. It had been a disaster! Sam didn't understand it. They had made out lots of times, and everything had gone great! But when it came down to it…he just couldn't…

It didn't go well, enough said. In fact when they had talked about it later Mikaela had admitted to Sam that she had felt odd about the situation too. It turned out that they both had feelings for the other, but not the right kind of chemistry for a close meaningful sexual relationship apparently. Sam had to admit that fact had been hell to come to grips with. The incident had sent him onto a emotional roller-coaster he wasn't looking forward to repeating…ever.

But at least the two of them had agreed to remain very close friends, and unlike most relationships that crash and burn like theirs had, the pair honestly intended to stay friends instead of using the line 'we can stay friends' as a way to soften the blow of a scarring breakup.

Of course now that he was 'single' again Sam found it harder to keep his mind off of what it was he had lost, mainly those hot and glorious make out sessions. And that line of thought of course the ever present fascination of all healthy male teenagers his age, Sex. 'Happy Time' wasn't a really good option as far as he was concerned, Sam knew that most guys his age did engage in that kind of release, but he hadn't been lying to his mom when he said he didn't do those kinds of things.

Ok, so to be perfectly honest he didn't USUALLY do that kind of thing. Anyway, his hormones were often going a little nuts leaving Sam's mind climbing his mental walls, and because of that restlessness this thoughts occasionally meandered down bizarre roads as well. Like his thoughts happened to be doing tonight. His mind was going down a very, very strange road tonight.

He was thinking about sex. And looking at his car.

Sam was currently sitting in a chair by his window; it was open with a cool breeze pulling through the night air. The teen's arms were folded on the sill, making an ideal rest for his chin as brown eyes focused on the sunny yellow form of his 'Camaro'-bodyguard parked bellow his window. As Sam's gaze lingered on Bumblebee's form bellow, his focus flowing down and across the sleek metal curves glimmering and glowing softly under the street lamp. The question on his mind at the moment…did autobots have a sense of 'touch' could they 'feel' things like he did with his skin? Did they have relationships? Was there such as thing as Robot Sex? How the hell would that work?

All the transformers he had heard of, or met seemed male. So if they were 'Male' did having relationships with one another make them Homosexual? Or would the fact they used to use the All-Spark to create all new life when it came to their race make the transformers asexual instead? But with that question Sam's mind came full circle again…. But if they were asexual did transformers even have physical closeness? Probably not. Sam sighed and lay his head down on his folded arms, his cheek resting against his warm skin. Honey brown eyes focused on the leaves of a nearby tree, watching them as they rustled and blew around in the soft breeze.

A soft snort exited through his nose and he let a sigh escaped his mouth soon afterwards, a physical outward expression of his inner turmoil. 'Well that's a pointless line of thought!' Sam mentally lectured himself. He knew it was natural to be curious about all aspects of his new friends, but some aspects would always be too insane to ask, or even bring up! Even after several years had passed Sam couldn't honestly see himself looking up at Optimus Prime asking 'So, have you ever had sex big guy?' Sam caught himself just short of bursting out laughing at the insane mental image that brought to mind. No. No, no defiantly not.

A soft beep from his computer caused the pensive teenager to jerk suddenly from his reverie. Sam sat up and swiveled in his chair to notice that his computer screen had turned on and an IM box was prominently placed in the middle of an otherwise dark blue screen. Curious Sam stood up and hauled his char over to the computer sitting at the keyboard he read the message scrawled across the IM message box in deep gold and black letters.

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**'Is Something bothering you tonight Sam?'**

For several seconds all Sam could do was blink at his computer screen uncomprehendingly, his mind stumbled over itself trying to make sense of the odd message box that had popped up on his computer monitor. Then suddenly, out of the blue, a possibility dawned on him.

"Bumblebee?" Sam asked out loud while casting a startled glance towards his window before looking back at this monitor. The previous message disappeared and a new one made its way across the screen.

**'Yes. I noticed you have yet to enter recharge. Is anything wrong?'**

Sam let out a quite, and startled laugh, stunned that his friend could hear his softly spoken words spoken from up in his room while the autobot was parked way down bellow. On one hand it was a little odd to think that Bumblebee was keeping THAT close of an eye on him…after all if he could hear words that soft, could he hear EVERYTHING that went on in the whole house. Like even in the bathroom and such? Ok..enough of that line of thought. But on the other hand it was comforting to know that he was always protected.

Sam smiled and started to type a reply back, it was better to use the keyboard than to keep talking, even if Bee did have creepy-super-hearing. He didn't want his father getting up to use the bathroom and hearing him 'talking to himself' in the middle of the night. His parents worried about him enough without him adding 'possible mental illnesses' to the list of concerns they had about him.

"No Pal, I'm fine. I just couldn't sleep yet so I was up thinking about stuff."

**'Were you thinking about me?'**

Sam blinked and sucked in a quick breath while sending another glance at the window. Well that was direct! The teen felt slight color rise to his face as he scanned the Autobot's message a second time unable to shake the impression he had been 'caught red handed' so to speak. Had Bumblebee been 'watching' him as he looked down at the transformers car-form for like that last hour and a half! …..erk! How embarrassing!

'Um. Why do you ask Bee?' he typed after a moments hesitation.

**'You were looking at my form for quite some time. And your readings were fluctuating at acceptable yet notable intervals. Also your chemical and pheromone levels are unusual tonight.'**

'Um….' He sent again, unsure of how to safely respond to the Autobot's observations without digging himself a deeper hole than the one he was already in. After he sent the oh-so-eloquent message a few moments passed in silence. Then Bee took the lead and letters started to appear smoothly on the screen again.

**'Sam. If you want to know something, you are welcome to simply ask. There is no need to feel embarrassment over natural curiosity. If it is a question about the autobots or myself, I will be happy to respond to your curiosity. After all it is only natural to want to understand a new entity in your life that is so different from your own.'**

'Thanks Bee. But there are some things you just don't ask. Even if the person you want to ask is your friend.'

**'Like what Sam?'**

Sam slapped one hand over his face and slowly dragged it down off of his chin. Bee was being particularly persistent tonight. Just like he had been that time about a week ago when at about seven in the evening the autobot had discovered Internet Porn. Now THAT had been an uncomfortable, yet mercifully brief discussion. The teenager wasn't comfortable talking about the 'peculiars' of his 'organic mating acts' with his own race, let alone someone of another race!

Sam had managed to stutter and stumble around just enough of the topic to let Bumblebee know that anything he saw on the Internet porn sights were NOT going to be the norm for human relations, and if he wanted to know what was normal, a medical or educational sight would be much, much, more appropriate material for research! And just like that moment, Sam was SOOOOO not wanting to actually broach this current subject with his metallic guardian.

**'Sam**.'

The letters appeared on the screen in an unusually large and bright font compared to the one Bumblebee had been using previously. This sudden change in appearance startled Sam, causing the teen to lean back a little bit in his char and have to catch himself before tipping over onto the floor backwards.

"Fine Bee, but I'm warning you, it's not something that's going to be fun to talk about." the boy muttered in a tone he was positive was too soft for the Autobot to pick up on all the way outside.

**'That is fine Sam. I am comfortable talking about anything you wish to ask. The letters flowed across the screen immediately causing the teen to gulp and reconsider just what his guardian could and could not pick up on once more**.'

'I was wondering about Autobots and Sex.' Sam typed quickly wanting to get that over with as quickly as possible, bite the bullet and all that kind of stuff right? A moment of stillness passed after he finished typing the last key and pushed the enter button, a few very LONG moments where nothing appeared on the screen and Sam felt his heart give a painful lurch while his stomach rolled over anxiously. Had he crossed some line? Fallen on a taboo? Or was Bee just silently laughing his bumper off at the stupid question the little human had thought up.

**'Please, elaborate on the question Sa**m'.

'Do Autobots…have anything like Sex? I mean do you DO anything like sex. You have always seemed like a guy to me, all of you seem like guys to me really. So I was wondering if there are girls, and if you guys do anything like…well ….sex?"

Sam glanced over his message once it was typed and sent and it made him wince. He certainly mentioned Sex enough in that message didn't he?! Sheesh, this was so, so not what he thought he would be doing right now.

**'We do not have physical 'Genders' as your species and the many organic life forms on your planet do. Because we were not created to self-progenerate, there is no need for our creator to construct us with physical gender roles. However, we do have intellectual self identity that may take on what you would consider more masculine, or feminine personality traits.'**

**'To simplify Sam, we do not have separate Physical genders, but we do have intellectual Gender identification. My self and the rest of my team all identify as 'masculine'. You could consider us as 'guys' and it would not be considered inaccurate.'**

Sam blinked and smiled a little feeling a knot in his chest that he wasn't even aware had formed, loosen. Apparently Bee was not at all upset over his questions, and so far the information was fascinating! Words kept scrawling across the screen slowly and Sam eagerly took them in.

**'As for your question of our specie and physical intimacy. That is a far more completed question. First Sam, you need to understand that our perception of 'touch' is far different than your own. Humans from what we have learned, are an amazingly tactile oriented species. Your race, and most of the organics on the planet share this physically orientated relationship and gain pleasure from it. It in fact, seems necessary for the Human emotional wellbeing to touch and be touched. **

**Human physiology amazingly sensitive to physical stimulation, this is because of your outer dermis covering.**

**However, we are covered by protective metal platting, underneath witch are mechanical based components. This configuration limits our sensitivity to perceiving physical stimulus to our shells at a level that would be considered particularly pleasurable.'**

**'We do perceive touch, but it is relayed by way of a multitude of personal sensor nanites that work similar to your LCD monitor technology. These sensors evenly coat our shells and rest just under a transparent outer coating that protects our armor. These sensors are self-replicating incase of damage, and are responsible for our ability to 'change' color and other visual aspects of our appearance.'**

'Like when you changed from the crap-Camaro to your current look?'

**'That's correct Sam. I'm glad to see you are following this. Should I continue?'**

'Yes, please...'

**'Our sensors also register temperature, pressure, and energy fields. They then transmit the information to are processing core where we register it as sensations. We can also register strong stimulus as pain through our sensors, Cold, trauma to our plating, or damage to our inner components will cause distress to the same degree organics can feel pain.'**

**'Most of our capability to 'feel' the surrounding world comes from our perception of energy fields as it is picked up by our sensors. All Cybertronian give off a unique energy signature emitted by their SPARK, as well as a surrounding energy field radiated by their many electrical components.' **

**'This 'personal signature' can be felt by any Cybertronian in close enough proximity. Also, cues to the Cybertronian emotional and physical state can be gleaned from the energy waves that make up each individuals 'personal signature'. Our energy fields work as not only a way to monitor our companion's physical state and possible emotional status, but also works as a sort of 'touch'. Individuals who are close gain comfort and reassurance from being close enough to register and be inside the energy field emitted by one another. Although we do have a kind of 'intimacy' it is unlike what biological creatures share with one another.'**

Sam tilted his head as his brain furiously tried to take in all the information as it was presented to him 'So Autobots do feel 'touch' but most of it is more an energy radiating energy kind of thing with only a little physical tossed in?'

**'Correct once again Sam. We are beings whose existence revolves around energy pulses. Our very life hangs on the pulse of our SPARK. Our shells health depends on how well our components relay the electrical signals that pulsed through our energy core much like your nervous system relays on signals from your brain.'**

**'I can and do 'feel' it when you touch me Sam, and it is slightly pleasant, but not nearly to the same degree, in the same manner as one human would feel another human's touch.'**

Sam frowned in thought as something he heard in biology flickered to the forefront of his brain 'I heard someplace that all living things on earth give off electromagnetic energy, even humans. So, do I give of an 'energy field' of any kind?'

** 'Yes. Although a human's energy signature is shockingly faint compared those emitted by our own kind. They are faint enough that they can be almost impossible to pick up on unless that human is in physical contact with our armor plating or other components at the time. However, you have a stronger energy field than normal for a human Sam. I believe this is because you are the only organic to have been in physical contact with the ALL SPARK while it emitted a large burst of energy, and it in some manner changed the way your human SPARK produces and radiates energy trough your form.'**

'So can you feel me from up here?'

**'Only faintly Sam, unless you have a strong emotional surge that increases how strong a field you are putting out.'**

'But you can feel me when we are driving around and stuff?'

**'Yes Sam. Almost as strongly as would be normal for me to pick up on another Autobot.'**

'That's kind of cool..'

**'I'm glad you think so.'**

'But it kind of sucks I can't 'feel you' back.'

**'Perhaps.'**

'What?'

**'Ask me again when we are done with the rest of this conversation Sam.'**

'Um Ok?'

**'I was about to finish talking about Cybertronian touch, and explain the closest equivalent to 'sex' we have, are you still interested?'**

'Of course!'

**'Very well. Now that I have explained how we feel 'energy' more than most physical forms of touching, and how each of us has our own unique energy signature fueled by our SPARK and components, I will try to explain SPARK sharing to you.'**

'Your 'Sparks' are you're soul's right? They are the things that give you life? I remember the blue glow in Optimus's chest…' and the red one in Megatron's…but he didn't want to think about or mention that right now.

**'Yes Sam. They are our…everything. A combination of what you would call heart, mind and soul. Energon…refined energy…may keep our parts moving, but it is our SPARKS that make us alive. When two Cybertronian are close -- and keep in mind we do not have 'physical genders' nor are we limited by reproduction rolls. So this closeness may be between any pair be it comrade, trusted friend, or a 'soul mate'-- they may chose to participate in the most intimate act available to us. '**

**'SPARK sharing, also called SPARK merging is when two transformers transfer their pure spark energy via a very special cabal port located under the protective armor plating of our upper chassis next to our spark chamber, or for very, very special relationships, the actual touching of the SPARKS themselves. '**

**'When engaged in this act the two share everything. Emotions, thoughts…the very essence. It is a very pleasurable and intense experience that can create and cement bonds, and in rare cases even form a permanent connection between transformers that lasts until one of them passes…perhaps even beyond that into 'where all are one'. Because are sparks are the very soul and life of us it takes a huge amount of trust and affection to allow another so close to your spark. It is not something done lightly. And I believe that it is the closest thing to your 'Sex' and yet, it so much more that I hesitate to make the comparison.'**

"Wow." Sam said softly and just…stared at his computer for a long, long time.

More questions hung on the tip of his tongue. Ones like, 'have you ever shared like that Bee? And has there ever been an Autobot/Decepticon couple?' Ok, that one made him wince…that would probably end badly. But he didn't want to ask any more right now. He had so much to think about already, and Sam really wanted to THINK about what he had learned, commit it to memory like the precious gift it was. Bee had been so openly honest with what must be very sensitive information for his kind, and Sam felt his chest warm with pleasure at the thought that his guardian trusted him enough to explain the more delicate facts about his species.

**'Sam, you made a comment earlier during our conversation involving your regret that you could not 'feel' me the same was as I can feel you and the others of my race. I would like to try something if you would not mind coming outside and sitting in the driver's seat for a moment.'**

'Now?'

**'Yes, please. I believe now is a good time for me to test a theory I have been pondering for a little while.'**

'Ok, I'll be right down.' Sam felt his heart speed up with unnamed anticipation as he typed and then stood to slip out his bedroom and silently down the steps. Just what was it that Bee had in mind? Was there some way he could get a slight glimpse of how it felt to 'feel' Bumblebee the way the other autobots did? Or was this experiment geared towards something else related to touch? Either way as Sam walked across the damp grass to the side yard; he knew he would be finding out soon enough.

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(NEXT - We find just what Bumblebee has in mind to try out with Sam...no you perverts! Not like that! Wait a few more chapters first..heh heh he.)


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